11.30.2004

Joe Camel vs. The Flinstones

If Fred and Barney had continued to smoke, I'm sure that I'd be smoking Winstons today, instead of Camels.

Flinstons

And, if that's not amusing enough, here's Porky Pig, uncensored:

Son of a...

11.29.2004

Blogging time away...

My favorite anecdote about citizenship concerns a confederate soldier brought before General Benjamin Butler at the end of the civil war.
"We gave you hell at Chickamauga, General!" said the soldier.
The irate Butler admonished him that if he did not take the citizenship oath immediately, he would be "ventilated" by a firing squad.
With some unwillingness, the defiant Southerner took the oath and then said, "General, I suppose I'm a good Yankee and citizen of the United States now?"
The general responded unenthusiastically, "I suppose so."
"Well, General, the rebels did give us hell at Chickamauga, didn't they?"

-Jim West

11.19.2004

Perpetual Christmas Letter

Abigail now has a blog:

http://shotsnaps.blogspot.com/

I'm not sure if Mildred knows the word "blog" yet, but last night she said to me "you check ebay, daddy." I was on ebay looking for Mr. Frumble action figures/dolls for Mildred for Christmas.

Be careful, Mr. Frumble!

11.17.2004

An ancient custom still alive today...

"His Holiness" Pope John Paul II now accepts credit cards.

No comment.

Emo Philips is a comic genius.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

-- Emo Philips

11.11.2004

Simak Soup

Mildred may not know how to milk a cow yet, but she is fairly cultured. This past Monday night we went down to Houghton to see Alfred Brown's Senior Recital. Squirmy Annika and her frustrated, sacrificing mother stayed out in the hall, but Mildred came in and sat quietly on my lap during this feast of sound (except during the first piece during which she whispered to me "poop, poop" and we had to leave for the bathroom.
Fred's compositions were enjoyable, and I hope that he continues to create music for my consumption. I would also love it if he ever got the job he was looking to get creating sounds for toys that make noise. I don't think that that was his final career choice, though.
The most pleasant surprise for me was that one of Fred's pieces was inspired by a Clifford Simak book that he got from ME!

11.10.2004

Proving that yes, in fact, I am still in school.

Anyone interested can check out my latest small project for my internet class. This specific assignment was to do a "visual critique" of a retail establishment, listing ten improvement recommendations.
Here it is:

Home of the Hits

I ended up spending about $45 before I left the building. Homework is expensive.


Block Party Posted by Hello


The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.


Elbows in Goldfish Posted by Hello


All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.


Those were the days....

Whatever happened to the good ole days when children worked in factories?

-Emo Phillips


11.04.2004

Blake's Legacy

"We live in a primitive time, don't we, Will? Neither savage nor wise.
Half-measures are the curse of it.
Any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use."

-the fictional serial killer/cannibal Hannibal Lector,
from the film Red Dragon.

In the film, these words are from a letter written by a man in prison, imprisoned for serially killing men and women, and then eating them (with a special fondness for serving these human dishes without identifying what they are, to his hoity-toity, distinguished, friends at dinner parties).

This extraordinary, intelligent, fictional fiend understands that "He who strikes a man so that he dies shall surely be put to death."

Why can't his captors understand this?

"Half-measures are the curse of it."

Why I Did Not Vote.

Sloth. Ignorance. Busyness. Apathy. Latent Monarchistic Tendencies.

I've never been registered to vote. At 17/18, I still had enough of the anarchist in me to revile the system. When I finally purged out these tendencies (some remain), I looked around and saw no one worth voting for. I would not and could not vote for the lesser of two weevils.

This election, I had found a candidate (for president, at least) that I supported near wholeheartedly.

Anyhow, I was lazy. I was busy. I didn't even think about the fact that I needed to register until it was too late. On Oct. 11th, I walked into Lockwood library at UB with the intention of picking up a voter registration form. I found the form easily enough, but, in addition, I was informed that Oct. 8th was the deadline to register in order to vote on Nov. 2.

Too late. So, I repent. I should have, I could have.


This post reminds me of a recent one-panel comic in Books and Culture. There's a picture of a man kneeling at a confessional, being asked through a screen, "How have you sinned, my child?"

The kneeling man answers, "It's all on my blog site, father."



11.01.2004

Ray Bradbury:

Beware those beasts who, now and then,
Disguise themselves as mortal men,
Who walk upright, but sit to dine,
On your dear bones and your blood’s wine,
To sift your head and sieve your thought,
While one by one your beast-dreams, bought,
Are cooked like snails or eaten raw,
While they, in grand pretense of Law,
Do all the right utensils ply,
To smile, and, jolly, wink their eye,
And mocking take your life to task,
Because your face is not their mask,
Whose shadows, cast across the road
Betray the path, melt frog to toad;
Teetotaler cynics, brimmed with ruth
Who blanch at medicine of Truth,
If Good, well now, that’s not for them.
All bad? Now that’s their very phlegm,
They stare at noons time out of mind
And then file suit because stone blind!
While all about in storms of sun
The children of the Light Years run.
They box and slam and nail your lid
And hunchbacked go because their Id
Speaks broken-tongued and smothered sin
Armpit their soul, cold bile their gin.
They greet all wonders with a yawn
Then wonder where damned Fun has gone,
They’d all your Hopes in discard lay
If you should let them Rue your day,
They’d sell you trips in midnight rains
And mail you off in funeral trains
Totalitarians one and all,
They harvest large to crop it small,
And individual will and sport?
Deny it all, cut talent short.
Pure intuition? Down, dog. Die!
Your power to change? Lie dead! Don’t try!
Carbuncle-boils their very thing
They suffer most when world comes spring
The green of sap and song and psalm
But galls these sons of Doubting Tom.
So there’s their list, all cramp and hunch,
A bounteous bilious baleful bunch.
Yet in their poisoned, maliced glee
They walk like you to talk like me.
Beware those beasts who now and then,
Dressed up in flesh, are mortal men.

-Ray Bradbury
Welcome, Haven James.

"We must realize that at whatever time we are baptized, we are once for all washed and purged for our whole life. Therefore, as often as we fall away, we ought to recall the memory of our baptism and fortify our mind with it, that we may always be sure and confident of the forgiveness of sins."

"It is a thing out of all controversy true, that we put on Christ in baptism, and were baptized on this very ground, that we should be one with Him."

"But as baptism is a solemn recognition by which God introduces His children in to the possession of life, a true and effectual sealing of the promise, a pledge of sacred union with Christ, it is justly said to be the entrance and reception into the Church."

-John Calvin

Read Calvin on Baptism here:

Relevant Section of the Institutes

When playing a game, the goal is to win, but it is the goal that is important, not the winning. —Reiner Knizia